Monday, November 3, 2008

Palin hearts Beethoven, ya know

Absolutely masterful Palin-parody from an old friend from Bloomington days:
JD: Governor, may I call you Sarah?

SP: You betcha.

JD: I just simply can’t believe in the midst of this intense campaign season, you could find the time to talk with me about the “Hammerklavier” Sonata.

SP: Well, ya know, Beethoven was the dude who said thanks but no thanks to Napoleon. Plus from all the mavericky songs he wrote, maybe this one could be known as the most maverickyest.

JD: I have to confess I’m a bit surprised you are so familiar with this particular work.

SP: Well, Mr. Snooty Juilliard Graduate, I’ll have you know I did my thesis on the Hammerklavier at Hawaiian Pacific University. Of course I had to continue revising it at Northern Idaho Massage Institute. And at Montana College for Bear-Loving Beauty Pageant Alumni. But also too the Hammerklavier’s on my ‘Pod whenever I go wolf hunting … those dactyls get me SUPER pumped...

JD: But Sarah—to play devil’s advocate here—you could make that one of the defining, most beautiful elements of the piece is the presence of sort of “radical” notes, notes that don’t really belong in B-flat major, strange other notes, neither major nor minor …

SP: All that sounds really good on paper, Jeremy, at your Ivy League coffeeshops and so forth, but out here in the real world where I’m sitting there’s plenty of common sense telling me that wrong notes are wrong notes. There was a great piece on Lou Dobbs the other day about this, called “Why Is G-Flat Getting My Tax Dollars?”...

JD: Tell me your thoughts about the slow movement.

SP: [pause] In what respect, Jeremy?

JD: The third movement: how would you describe it?

SP: [pause] I gotta confess, I usually fast forward through that one … It’s kind of a bummer. And since unlike some Americans out there I don’t hate America, I don’t want to dwell on all those negativity.

JD: But some people might make the case that the third movement is kind of the emotional core of the work … ?

SP: Ya know, I feel pretty strongly that a composer is a lot like a musicologist, except that he has actual notes to put down on paper. [Applause]...

JD: Sarah, the last movement is one of the most famously difficult things in all the piano repertoire. Do you have any advice for this American pianist about this movement before he performs this work on tour?

SP: You don’t want to hear my advice.

JD: Oh come on let me have it.

SP: I think it’s pretty obvious.

JD: I’m dying to know.

SP: You’re not gonna like it.

JD: Please …

SP: Trill, baby, trill!

JD: [sinks head in hands] The interview is over.
Seriously, go read the whole thing.

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